I think I'm doing good. Everyone else seems to think I'm doing good but sometimes, I'm not. I think from now to July I'm going to have some hard days.
The memories of the last times we did something together are so vivid. It is like it is double etched in my brain. The memory is beautiful but it reinforces the loss of never having another day like it with Ned.
The first Friday in March is the day of El Señor of the Conquest. Last year as many other years, Ned and I went into town. We had dinner at Brasserie and I wrote about it here. I can remember the exact table we sat at in Brasserie. The flowers in the fountain. The concheros walking toward us on the street as we came out of the restaurant. The bench we sat on eating ice cream. This year that video was playing in my head, over and over in a loop. When I went to bed, I couldn't read a book. All I could do was toss and turn. Finally at 12:30 I got up and took a sleeping pill. I don't take one very often but ocassionally they are a blessing.